Setting healthy limits with our children takes a great deal of work! What we know about kids is that they crave routine, structure, attention, and consistent expectations from their parents and the adults that work with them. Despite this, we can all attest to the behaviors, choices, and verbal responses that kids show in their effort to push the limits we set for them. Whether it’s the whining for that toy that we just don’t think they need, the ignoring of requests to do their chores, or the statement “That’s not fair!!” parenting with consistent limits takes a lot of energy and time. But how do some parents make it look so easy?
According to parenting resources such as Love and Logic (Jim Fay and Foster Cline), Kids are Worth It (Barbara Coloroso), and Dr. Laura Riffel(Behavior Doctor), there are several strategies that parents use to make this constant effort less time consuming and more effective.
- Model the behavior we expect from our kids.
- Have clear expectations/rules and support them with reinforcement (praise, attention, “thank you’s”) and consequences (natural and logical).
- Find time to give kids our attention by playing with them, engaging them in conversation, listening to them, laughing with them, and encouraging them.
- Provide choices within a set of parameters. “It’s time for bed, do you want to read books first or brush your teeth first?”
Have you experienced success or stress with any of these strategies? What ideas can you share that have helped you in setting healthy limits with your kids?
Please take the time to read these articles. They really get you thinking about our role as parents, and how we can help our kids. Let us know what you think.
http://www.loveandlogic.com/pages/responsible.html
http://www.loveandlogic.com/pages/guidingchildren.html
